Sai the Comedian
by Lil' DeiDei
Summary: Sai's attempts at cracking jokes fail. Terribly. Sakura tries to explain patiently to him that he is missing a key ingredient, but it is hard to do when Naruto is laughing at her. Will Sai ever be able to make his friends laugh? No pairings.


The following story is brought to you by Jill's deranged mind. The ideas within are all her own, though the characters are owned by Kishimoto Masashi.

Note: An _Uguisu_ is a Japanese Bush-warbler, a type of bird commonly found in Japan. Supposedly, if you see one, it means spring is coming.

This story takes place after Sai meets Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji and goes through his whole "nickname" adventure.

**Sai the Comedian**

"If a person wishes to make friends more easily, the second step after developing nicknames is to begin joking and teasing with the person's new friends." Sai paused in his reading, thinking. _Sakura and Naruto seem to tease each other frequently_, he thought, remembering Sakura punching Naruto and calling him a "baka." _They have teasing down very well._

Sai smiled, pleased he was now a part of their friendship. Though he was still learning what that meant.

_This book should help with that._ He looked back at the page and read on.

"To make a joke, a person must look for a topic that will be found humorous by the audience. The audience is, of course, those the joke is directed at. Keep in mind that not everyone will find the same things humorous, so jokes must be carefully planned ahead of time so that no one is offended. If there are people nearby who will not find your initial joke funny, it is best to remain silent." _Of course_, thought Sai, nodding his agreement with the book. _It would be terrible to tell a joke and have no one laugh because they do not get it or because it upsets them._

"A person must also remember that a joke should be surprise; if the audience is warned about the joke beforehand, the element of surprise will be eliminated and the audience may not feel that the joke is as humorous as it otherwise would be. If you think of something funny, say it! Make sure the punch line is strong, however, and do not become distracted while telling the joke. Audiences can be fickle and will stop paying attention if they feel like you are not devoting all your attention to the joke." Sai looked at the book.

"Jokes can also come in the form of a statement, story, or question. A joke as a statement would be a sentence containing an amusing phrase, pun, or observation. Statement-jokes are often made as spur-of-the-moment comments, and they fit the situation automatically. Story jokes require more planning, and the orator must develop the joke from beginning to end, with a strong and amusing finish. Question jokes are usually given by children, as they are most suited for those just beginning to understand the joke process."

Sai paused, then reread that section excitedly. _Question jokes are for beginners! That's me!_ He immediately continued reading to see what else he could learn about telling jokes, and, more specifically, about developing a question joke.

He put the book down on the table a few moments later, confident that he had a firm grasp of the art of joke telling.

Deciding to test his new knowledge, Sai snapped the book shut and left the library, in search of Naruto and Sakura. He knew them best and was sure he had already thought of three good jokes to amuse them with.

Sakura charged at the closest Naruto, her fists pulsing with chakra. The clone yelped and tried to jump away, but she managed to get a good swinging hit on one of its legs, and it popped out of existence in a cloud of smoke. Sakura grinned at this, then turned to face the other four Naruto's.

"No fair!" the second one in on the left complained. "He was isolated from us."

"Your fault," she said. "You should have organized yourselves better."

"Wait, wait, wait!" the one on the farthest right end said, stopping her as she prepared to charge again. "This is not helping either of us overcome our weaknesses at all. I know Kakashi-sensei's in the hospital so we can't do whatever super-cool training thing he has planned for us, but I think we ought to at least use this time wisely so that we can get even a _little_ better." The three other Naruto's nodded their agreement at this one's wise statement.

Sakura grudgingly slowed the flow of chakra to her fists. "What do you have in mind?" she asked the Naruto, assuming he was the real one.

The Naruto popped, along with the two on the left, leaving the one who had not spoken yet behind. The real Naruto. Sakura really should have known better. He had done that before.

"Well, I think we need to help you find a better way to get rid of more than one enemy at once." She raised her hands threateningly at him, and his hands rose placatingly. "I'm not insulting you," he said, "I just think it would be better if you could get rid of ten clones at once, instead of two."

She considered this, then decided he was right, though she hated to admit it. "Fine. What's your plan?"

His response was a slight grin and a shout of "Tajuu kage bunshin no jutsu!" Sakura blinked.

"Crap, Naruto," she said, "I knew you have a lot of chakra but I had no idea you could make _this many clones_!"

All estimated two thousand Naruto's grinned at her and laughed, and it sounded odd and echo-ey. "Well," thirty of them began, "last time I made this many, I was fighting Gaara and I was really mad, but I guess I can still do it dattebayo!"

Sakura stared. "How do you make them all talk at once?" she asked despite herself.

"It's easy," one said. Sakura assumed he was the real one since he was closest to her, but, on the other hand, the clones had a tendency to be formed in front of Naruto so she wasn't too sure. "I can control them if I want to, but they can also act independently, if I don't need them." To demonstrate this point, five of the clones walked off and began practicing kunai and shuriken throwing. "See?" they all asked.

Before Sakura could respond with an affirmative, however, Sai walked up. Sakura really wasn't sure how he got there, based on the fact that the Naruto's were blocking off the whole clearing and took up a lot of space in the forest, but she didn't question his appearance. "Hi, Sai," she said instead.

He nodded at her.

"Hey! It's Sai!" Naruto shouted two thousand times.

The other 1,999 clones also greeted Sai.

"What should you do when you see two thousand Naruto's staring at you?" Sai suddenly said.

"Huh?" asked Sakura, not because she had not heard him but more because she was not sure if he had really just said something that sounded suspiciously like the beginning of a joke.

"I said, what should you do when you see two thousand Naruto's staring at you?" he repeated.

"…" said Sakura.

The Naruto's all blinked, and one of the five throwing shuriken popped away as it failed to dodge the last shuriken another clone had sent at him.

Sai smiled. "Do you get it?" he asked, still smiling and looking rather pleased with himself.

"…get what?" Sakura asked.

He opened his eyes and looked at her, though he was still smiling. "My joke, of course. It is funny, right?" He began to laugh softly as the Naruto's stared and the Sakura gaped.

"…Um, Sai," Sakura said, regretting that she would have to be the one to say this but knowing none of the Naruto's would step forward to volunteer, even if they weren't begin controlled by their creator. "_What_ joke?"

Sai stared back at her. "Didn't you hear it?" he asked. "I said it twice." He opened his mouth and prepared to say the joke a third time.

"No, Sai, I heard it. At least, I think I heard it," Sakura said, stopping him.

"Then it is not amusing," he said. Sakura was unsure if this was a question or a statement.

She did not want to hurt his newly discovered feelings, so she said, "No, I'm sure it was, I just, uh, didn't hear it all."

The smile was gone fully now, leaving confusion in its wake. "But I asked and you said you did. I _can_ repeat it again, but…" he trailed off, clearly not understanding what was wrong.

Sakura sighed internally. "Sai, you didn't finish the joke."

He looked at her. "What do you mean? The book said questions are a form of joke."

The Naruto's blinked and seemed to understand what was going on because three began to laugh. Then ten laughed. Then twenty-two laughed. Then fifty laughed. Then one hundred and thirty-seven found the situation amusing. Another two hundred and sixty-five joined in. And upwards, until all one thousand, nine hundred, and ninety-nine Naruto's laughed, filling the clearing with the noise. It echoed oddly off the trees and distorted the joyful sound so that it sounded like a strange forest song.

Sakura glared at them, knowing somewhere in there was the real Naruto, who she would definitely beat up later for making her deal with this.

Sai looked at them also, and said, "Naruto gets it."

This comment served to anger Sakura more than it should have. It was innocent, and coming from Sai, it really should not have been offensive at all because, let's face it, the guy had absolutely zero idea as to what is acceptable to say versus what should be left in a tightly sealed box at the bottom of the closet. He had no idea that Naruto was laughing at the situation in general, and at Sakura specifically. Of course, Sakura was not going to tell Sai this, either, so he would hopefully never know.

She took a deep breath and said "Sai, Naruto's an idiot. But that's beside the point. Jokes _can_ be in the form of a question but they have to have an answer as well, to complete the joke." She thought for a moment. "Like this one: Why did the _uguisu_ cross the road? To get to the other side."

Sai stared at her for a moment, while the Naruto's, who had stopped laughing, looked on curiously, waiting to burst out laughing again.

Luckily for the impatient blonde(s), they did not have to wait long. Sai began to laugh. "I see," he said, "that is much funnier than a simple question." He continued laughing, his mouth open as the noise left his throat, and his hands shaking at his sides. Sakura was relieved to see that he wasn't yet in stitches, but was still angry that he was even laughing. Especially when the damn Naruto's joined in. "Sai…" she wasn't sure how to break it to him.

He looked at her through half-shut eyes, still laughing quite hard at what he thought was a funny joke. "Y-yes?" he asked through his laughter.

_Oh dear_, she thought. "Um, that's not a funny joke." Sakura decided being blunt was the best tactic.

Sai apparently found this statement funny too, because he laughed harder still. Naruto, of course, also laughed harder, taking great delight in Sakura's annoyance and Sai's ignorance of the normal behaviors of regular people. In fact, he found it so funny that he couldn't maintain his clones any more, and one thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight Naruto's disappeared, leaving one in the middle of the clearing, lying on the ground, clutching his sides.

Sakura glared very hard at that one Naruto.

Very, very hard.

The Naruto looked up and saw her staring, then promptly laughed harder. "Oooh, ow, oh, stop it, Sakura," the last Naruto said between gasps for breath, "I can't take any more!"

Sakura stomped towards him, fists by her side, charging with as much chakra as she could direct there. _I'm gonna pound him __**now**__!_ Inner Sakura yelled. _Shānnarō!_

Naruto saw Sakura coming at him and did his best to stop laughing, but it was difficult. He tried getting up, but that was hard, too. So he gave up and continued laughing, enjoying the last few seconds of hilarity while he could.

Suddenly, Sai's laughter increased an extra octave, and he appeared to be laugh-shouting. Naruto's own laughter halted suddenly, as he stared at Sai from the ground. _What the… dattebayo?_ he thought.

"It's funny because, because," Sai was still laughing, but it sounded distinctly fake, "the _uguisu_ is a sign that spring is coming!" He broke off to laugh again, the sound coming at as harsh "eahah-ahah" noises that made Naruto cringe. Sai spoke again, "And the best part is, it's summer! The bird's too early!" He fell to the ground with more "eahah-ahah" noises.

Sakura stared at him. _She seems to be doing quite a lot of that_, Naruto noted. Deciding now would be the best time to make his getaway, as Sakura was distracted by a hysterical Sai, Naruto jumped up from the ground and ran up a tree. He wasn't exactly quiet or stealthy in either action, but Sakura never even glanced at him or the ground where he had been lying.

She continued to stare at Sai.

"Sai, what are you _talking_ about?" Sakura said finally.

Sai smiled at her. "Your joke, of course. That," he said deliberately, "is why the _punch line_ is so amusing. 'To get to the other side.' Ha!" he shouted again.

Naruto tried not to laugh, lest he give away his position to Sakura. Plus, it would be bad if he fell out of the tree. Sakura would not even need to punch him then.

"Oh," Sakura said. Naruto noted gratefully that the chakra had left her fists, and he wondered for a second if Sai had interrupted her on purpose. After all, Sai had experienced one of Sakura's fists in his face before.

"Yes, is it not hilarious?" Sai said just then.

On the other hand, the guy was not too brilliant when it came to social situations and he probably didn't even realize that Sakura was annoyed with Naruto.

Sakura appeared to be thinking and Naruto watched her carefully—to make sure it was safe, of course, not so that he would be able to laugh obnoxiously right away!

"Um, Sai, it's not really meant to be funny. I just chose it as an example. To show you that a joke has to have two parts. The question and the answer." Sakura was choosing her words carefully. "I could have used anything in place of 'uguisu.'"

Sai looked lost, so Sakura explained further. "I could have said, 'Why did Naruto cross the road,' or 'Why did the shinobi hop the wall.' The 'uguisu' and 'road' parts are just," she looked for the word, "bases."

Sai looked as if he had achieved enlightenment. Which, Naruto considered, he probably had.

"I see. So I should use that as a base to make a funny joke, with both a question and an answer, and then I will say it to surprise the right audience so that no one is offended and I amuse my friends, making them like me more, while at the same time proving my comedic genius and remaining on topic?"

Sakura nodded slowly, most likely not understanding what he had just said, but deciding agreeing was her best choice.

"Hmm." Sai thought for a second. Naruto leaned over the tree branch to both hear better and watch Sai's face. "Well, I had three jokes in mind, but I see they are not relevant to the circumstances. So I will use my previous joke." He smiled slightly, but it seemed more natural this time. "What do you do if see many Naruto's looking at you?" he asked Sakura.

Naruto watched as she drew in a deep breath, then exhaled it slowly before replying. "I don't know, Sai," Sakura eyed him warily, "what should you do?"

Sai's smile broadened slightly before he said, "You tell a joke!" Sai promptly bent over double and continued laughing, but Sakura just continued to stare at him.

"…" she said for the second time.

Naruto climbed down the tree, and jumped towards his two teammates. "I don't think you fully understand jokes yet, Sai," Naruto said, not unkindly.

Sai stopped laughing right away, and looked up at him, hands dropping away from his stomach and back to his sides. This proceeded to make his previous laugh look ten times more unreal but Naruto decided this was not the time to point that out. After all, Sai had just saved him from what was looking to be a severe beating from Sakura. Instead, he capitalized on Sakura's shock and said, "Let's go visit Kakashi-sensei! Dattebayo!"

Sakura nodded dumbly and allowed Naruto to pull her along, and he was quite happy to do so as that meant he got to hold her hand.

Sai followed behind Naruto, watching him drag Sakura to the hospital. He was aware that his joke was not one hundred percent perfect yet, but he thought it had been at least passable. Oh well. _Perhaps it is time to try another joke_, he mused.

"Hey," he spoke up, "what do you get when you cross a kunoichi with a hamster?"

"Not now, Sai," Naruto replied, looking back at him, and then at Sakura.

Sai looked at Sakura, too, and noticed she was still in a daze. "Oh," he said. "I have an answer to this one," he offered.

Naruto glared at him.

"OK." Sai shut up, thinking of more jokes as they walked along. Some were quite amusing, he thought, and he began to laugh aloud. He did not notice that his teammates had stopped walking and were now staring at him incredulously until he walked into Sakura.

"Sorry, Sakura!" he said. "I was lost in my thoughts."

Naruto looked at him, then said, "_What_ were your thoughts? You were... giggling."

"Oh. Was I?" Sai asked. He wasn't quite sure what Naruto meant, or why he said the word 'giggling' so oddly. He thought giggling was a perfectly normal thing to do.

Naruto nodded, still watching him. Sai noticed that his friend's look was one of wary, so he smiled to reassure him. Luckily for Sai, his eyes were closed as he smiled, so he did not see Naruto's expression change from wary to worried. "I was thinking of more jokes," Sai confessed. "Many of them are quite funny. I hope to share them with Kakashi-sensei when we arrive at the hospital."

Naruto dropped Sakura's hand, and lightly pushed her away so that he and Sai could have a private conversation. Sakura did not protest. The day had been too much for her and hearing Sai attempt to tell one joke had put her very firmly in a coma-like state. "Maybe you should lay off on the jokes," Naruto said seriously.

Sakura watched the two talking, idly amused at the fact that Naruto had just advised Sai to give up jokes in the same way everyone advised Asuma to quit smoking.

Sai appeared to be genuinely confused by Naruto's concern but Sakura decided not to watch any more, and glanced around the town. She thought about what she would say to her parents when she got home later on and they asked her how her day had been. _"Oh, great. I trained with Naruto this morning and we tried to find a good way for me to knock out more than two clones at once, but then Sai showed up and I had to teach him how to tell a joke properly and then Naruto told him he should give up on jokes, and then we went to visit Kakashi-sensei in the hospital, and..."_ Sakura did not know what she would say there, but she was sure it would be something equally ridiculous to the rest of her statement, and, at the end of it, her parents would both blink before her mother said, "That's nice, dear," and her father went back to reading his paper.

Ah, the life of a shinobi.

Kakashi stared out his window, bored. He had read _Icha Icha Paradise_ five times already, and was reluctant to even open the Special Book Jiraiya had given him for his time in the hospital. He was hoping to keep it in mint condition until the perfect day to read it, to savor the moment of cracking the spine on his first signed copy of one of Jiraiya-sama's wonderful books.

Unfortunately, his boredom was growing by the minute, and today was increasingly beginning to look like "that day" with each passing minute. He sighed through his mask and continued looking out the window. Glancing down at the street, he noticed his Naruto and Sakura dragging the third kid—Saki? Saime? Isa?—along behind them. Well, it actually seemed like Naruto was doing the dragging of Saye, while Sakura walked along, looking around as if she just woke up from a trance. The three entered the building and Kakashi was pretty sure they were headed here. He quickly sat back in his bed and put on his "Bored/Don't Care/Excuse me, but did you just say something?" face and picked up his book. He flipped it to a random page and pretended to read, while his ears strained for the sound of his students walking down the hall.

They weren't hard to hear.

"Hey, dattebayo! We want to visit Kakashi-sensei!" he heard Naruto shout.

"He cannot have any visitors right now!" a medic or nurse shouted back. "He's too weak to even sit up!"

Someone screamed, and then Kakashi heard Sakura say, "I'll be the judge of that!"

The door slammed open and Kakashi jumped, flicking his eye quickly back to the page.

"Hmm," Sakura said, smirking, "he looks pretty capable of sitting upright to me!"

Naruto pushed past her, still holding onto Sai's arm, and charged forward. "Kakashi-sensei," he said, blue eyes ablaze, "explain to Sai why he cannot tell any more jokes."

Kakashi looked up from the pages and glanced between his students. He did not really know the third that well, and he was not sure what was going on, but he knew from past experience that going along with whatever stupidity Naruto had thought up was easiest. "Sai, you cannot tell any more jokes," Kakashi said severely.

Sai looked at him.

Naruto glared at him.

Sakura glared at the nurse, then slammed the door in her face.

"Kakashi-sensei! That's not what I meant. I meant _explain_," Naruto said.

"...explain what?"

Naruto huffed, and Sakura took over. "Sai tried to tell a joke about Naruto's clones but he forgot to give the answer and it wasn't funny but he thought it was so we had to give him a crash course in joke telling but he still doesn't get it because he tried to tell a joke about a hamster and then he kept laughing on the way over here and it wasn't natural so we told him that you would tell him why he can't tell jokes," she said in one breath.

Kakashi looked at her. "Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you say so much in one breath." He paused thoughtfully. "Unless it was about Sasuke, of course," he amended.

She glowered at him slightly.

"I don't really know what you want me to say to him that you haven't already covered," Kakashi said finally.

Sakura threw her arms up in frustration and went to sit down on the window sill.

Kakashi turned to Sai, and said, "Well, Sai, I don't know what they want me to say, but apparently, your jokes are not funny."

Sai did not look disappointed or surprised. In fact, his expression did not change a bit. Kakashi was beginning to realize why his students always got so annoyed at him and his lack of facial expressions.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei, they already explained this to me. Sakura said I lacked the answer and Naruto told me to give up for now," Sai said.

Kakashi was lost. _The answer to what?_ He glanced at Sakura, hoping for an explanation but she was busy swinging her legs back and forth, apparently unaware that the wall was taking quite a beating from her strong feet. He winced for the wall's sake before turning back to his newest student.

Sai was watching him intently, and Kakashi found it quite unnerving, though he did not let Sai see this.

"What do you get if you cross a kunai with a staff?" Sai asked.

Naruto groaned and Sakura's legs sped up. Kakashi was not sure who this question was directed at, but he answered anyway. "I do not know. What?"

Naruto groaned again, and Sakura lost her sandal (which she had been wearing that day) to the world outside the hole she had made.

"A spear!" Sai said.

Sakura stopped kicking the wall and stared at her teammate.

Naruto stopped trying to pull Kakashi's mask off and stared at his teammate as well.

Kakashi looked at Sai and laughed, surprised that the joke was even _slightly_ funny after everything Naruto and Sakura said about Sai's inability to make a funny joke.

Sakura joined in after him, looking surprised.

Naruto looked at them, appeared to think back over the joke, then also laughed.

Sai smiled, but this time it looked real. _I have made my friends laugh!_ Sai thought. He laughed too.

Then he thought of something.

"What do you call a ninja who entertains people?" He waited. "A fun-nin!"

"..." Sakura stopped laughing.

"..." Kakashi did too.

"Sai, you totally killed the mood," Naruto said.


End file.
